Name:
Location: Ohio
Date: 07/21/2010
Time: 07:45 AM
Comments
For anyone who is thinking about and planning on taking care of a loved one at Home, please plan and arrange for your own "Time Out"- which would include a couple hours each day as well as at least 12 hours on the weekend. There are agencies out there that you can Hire Caregivers for as little as 2 hours at a time or as much as 24/7. You can't give up all of your time - Your heart says Yes I can but your mind and body need a break too. Comfort Keepers have Compassionate and qualified Caregivers available that can help with housework, laundry, Meal preparation, companionship, run errands, help with Personal Care and toileting and Recreational Activities. Look up on the internet: www.comfortkeepers.com and you can look for a location near you and You can ask them to come and talk with you. Lots of info on their site. Hope this helps.
Also get older Grandchildren in for visits and companionship, ladies from Church, College kids who can be there ( what college kid wouldn't work for the price of a couple pizzas)while you run for Groceries or to the Hairdresser....
Name: jackii
Location: Indiana
Date: 07/19/2010
Time: 12:30 AM
Comments
I would like to interact by emails with my fellow caregivers is that possible? I'm new to this site. I would love to communicate with single parents on being the sole caregiver.
Name: MORENA
Location: WHITTIER
Date: 07/18/2010
Time: 08:03 AM
Comments
MY DAD IS ALWAYS MASTER BATTING WITH CATHDER
Name: michelle feria
Location: philippines
Date: 07/17/2010
Time: 03:18 AM
Comments
Frankly speaking you don't want to be a caregiver.
But I'm taking a course now as a caregiver because of my mom.
Name:
Location:
Date: 07/10/2010
Time: 03:37 PM
Comments
Elizabeth you do have a lot on your hands. I understand how alone you feel. My husband has MS everyday he complains about his disease. For no reason at all he start yelling at me or the kids. Part of the disease affects the brain I'm told but, it's still difficult. I'm with you I understand.
Name: Elizabeth Anderson
Location: California
Date: 07/09/2010
Time: 11:43 PM
Comments
When reasoning is 'out of the question, sometimes I find that silence with a (yes)nod can be a quick cure all for an impending argument, (disagreement?). Go out for a few minutes to catch a breather. Come back oblivious to whatever transpired before the breather, and see if things have indeed settled down. This has worked for me, since my mother has started to show signs of dementia. She is good at evading certain things such as getting a sponge bath or washing the hair, doing exercises, etc. I am 52 yrs old and I am the only person that she will let get near her. She has fired every agency in town that could help me help her, and now while I am battling my illness on chemotherapy, I am alone with a vindictive, angry, confused mom. She likes to play the 'blame game'. So I have found that I don't have to stand there and take the abuse, I can do the chores, read a book ( my fav. is the Bible) go for a walk or do the shopping, text a friend and tune her out as long as I can see that she is safe. I could also use some advice out there.
Name: Shell
Location: Fremont, CA
Date: 07/09/2010
Time: 03:05 AM
Comments
Hi,
I honestly don't know if anyone is interested but I thought I would share this idea. I'm a part of a support group that will provide the after transplant support for a young lady who needs a double lung transplant. This young lady has such a beautiful spirit and has always been willing to extend herself to helping anyone in need. So, she has a very dedicated support group. Over the past year we have done several fund raising events on her behalf but none of them did anything substantial because of course charity depends on the generosity others and with the economy and many people out of work, it has been very hard until recently to raise money on her behalf. One of the support people came up with a great idea and we, as a group, are successfully bringing money into her transplant fund at our church. What's great is that this will not only to bring in money for this deserving young lady but it should eventually sustain her far beyond the transplant and help her family as well. I am not soliciting so, I will not list anything here. It's a great way for a group of caregivers or a family to raise money for their loved one. So, it may be worth looking into. Please feel free to contact me by email at mechelle94538@aol.com.
Name:
Location:
Date: 07/08/2010
Time: 05:00 PM
Comments
There are a lot of good ideas on your site but no one talks about their feelings. I am caring for a husband who has MS. He is wheel chair bound, can't walk. He falls frequently and I can assist but I can't pick him up he is 55 I'm 50. His disease is worsening. I don't think I'm a great caregiver. I do what I can. Does any one have feelings of resentment or guilt. I will be retiring to take care of him. Yes I love him but I feel I have limitations. I don't know how much help I'll be when I'm 65.
Name: Beau
Location: Denver, CO
Date: 07/07/2010
Time: 01:50 PM
Comments
I have been exposed to a wonderful treatment that relieves severe stress. I attended a workshop at FT Bayard, NM of all places and boy was I surprised! On the sign in sheet there were caregivers, social workers, teachers, doctors, nurses and holistic healers all gathered to learn the stress reduction technique. I find it to be the best and easiest way to calm a patient. I also use it just to better connect and to achieve trust with alzheimers patients. http://www.15MinuteStressOut.com Has anyone else used this methodology?
Name: CAREGIVER
Location: OHIO
Date: 07/07/2010
Time: 08:15 AM
Comments
Buy comfortable clothing like jogging pants with elastic waists.. Easy up and down for toileting.
Use a large dishtowel or hand towels as "clothing protectors" (BIBS) to save spotting them with food stains. One lady made beautiful patchwork quilted ones she called "food aprons" for several of the Ladies at her table in the Assisted Living Residence where they lived. Family and Friends and Staff Thought this was such a touching display of Caring... As every lady at the table had one, there was NO embarrassment and soon others were asking for the Food Aprons too even the Men....She made one that looked like a Plaid Sport shirt with a bow Tie and the Man proudly wore it at each meal...
Name: Maureen
Location: ft lauderdale fl
Date: 07/07/2010
Time: 12:27 AM
Comments
My husband has dementia for 3yrs stage he's in now moderate to severe I am his caregiver.I want him to have quality of life.he likes to bowl,he bowls 3x a wk with a league,we go to movies,theatre and travel.he is very aware of everything.His neurologist told me to keep doing what I'm doing for him..
Name: Megann
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
Date: 07/04/2010
Time: 04:50 AM
Comments
I saw a message on here from Sylvar back in 2008 that pineapple helps with swelling. My mother in law has MS and has been bed ridden for a few months and we are noticing a lot of swelling and water retention in her feet and hands does anyone know if pineapple has helped with this type of swelling?
Name: Sunday Otse
Location: Benue State Nigeria
Date: 07/03/2010
Time: 06:02 AM
Comments
Alway be on duty and share our love to them.
Name:
Location:
Date: 06/28/2010
Time: 01:35 PM
Comments
For dementia patients. Put a lock at the top of door out of
reach of patient. Keep locked when other family is sleeping in the house
Name:
Location:
Date: 06/28/2010
Time: 01:25 PM
Comments
Use proper lifting tecniques. Keep back straight and bend at the knees. Keep belt
around waist to help weith a gentile boost
Name: Frank Sinclair
Location: Dowling Park, FL
Date: 06/23/2010
Time: 06:15 PM
Comments
YOU MUST HAVE YOUR SLEEP.
This is the most important part of taking care of someone.
Name: Cathy Mott
Location: Toledo, Ohio
Date: 06/23/2010
Time: 12:27 PM
Comments
While caring for my mother after a fall in her home, we realised that she could no longer care for herself. I had made a promise to her that I would not put her in a nursing home unless I could no longer care for her. She had worked in two nursing homes and saw a great deal of abuse in the 1960's and was scared to death of being put in one. So, we decided that we would add a couple of rooms on our home that were handicap accessible, a bedroom, a handicap bathroom with shower for wheelchair, and a small sunporch. Because we could not foot the bill for the entire project ourselves, we went to my other siblings and said that we would use my mother's savings to help pay for the addition. Everyone seemed to be on board with it, as none of the other kids wanted to take care of her. No one voiced any concern or objection of any kind and in fact some said it was a good idea. Our main rationale for doing this was knowing of several of our neighbors and friends who had put loved ones in nursing facilities only to have them put on medicaid when all their assests were gone. Once on medicaid the families lost the control to move their loved ones in better facilities because they no longer had any options once the money ran out. While in the process of the construction, my mother had a stroke, she recovered to a degree and finally settled into her new home. I looked after her 24/7 with only two 4 hour respites a week provided by my one sister 25 miles away, who was a God send. My mother passed away, and after her will was made known, my siblings all of a sudden lost their memories, claiming that they knew nothing of the addition or that they knew anything about the plan. The only sibling that stuck by me was the one who drove 25 miles twice a week after she got off work, to help. She still had a minor child in school at the time. To make a long story short I was sued by my other siblings and it cost me over $15,000 dollars to settle the estate in addition to the mortgage that we were paying for my mother's rooms. If you plan to look after a loved one in your home don't think that you can trust your siblings that they will do the right thing. All my siblings were concerned about was her money, not that she was well cared for or that she was safe and happy in her last days. If you are in a situation similar to what we were in, get an attorney and make sure that all the (prospective heirs) sign a document stating what the proposed plan of action is, and that they agree to it. I never thought that my family would do a thing like this to me but they did. Not only did I look after my mother, and paid for some of the housing but was sued for doing the right thing. Make sure you protect yourself! While what they did to me was awful, I do not regret for one minute taking care of my mother. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of not only me and my husband's life, but also my sister's life as well. We loved her and I was so grateful that we were able to care for her in her final days. It is a shame that people assume that their parents money is for the kids, we used what she had for her care. By the way, I was offered two jobs because of the care I gave my mother. One at Hospice and one at a hospital aftercare department. Thanks for reading, I think I needed to vent too. motts@bex.net
Name: Diane Everett
Location: Fredonia, NY
Date: 06/23/2010
Time: 07:06 AM
Comments
Hi Everyone! These tips are wonderful! Thanks to all who have contributed. My husband is in his third year of living with ALS and is now struggling to lift a glass or bottle to his mouth. Bendy straws have been a fantastic help to him. He just leans forward to drink. We also learned recently that restaurants will gladly cut up his meat for him in the kitchen before they serve it so I don't have to do it for him (and embarrass him) at the table. Sometimes all you have to do is ask--you never know what you might get.
Name: Frank Sinclair
Location: 11087 Millsite Lane, Dowling Park, FL 32064
Date: 06/16/2010
Time: 10:31 AM
Comments
My dear wife, Myrle, experienced several brain attacks during 2006 and 2007. At the outset, Myrle could not walk or speak. From the very beginning I would maintain a SENSE OF HUMOR. This helped Myrle cope. Myrle can now walk and speak. She does have Expressive Aphasia, this means she can't always say what she wants to convey.
Name: Tom Wilson
Location: Neenah, WI
Date: 06/10/2010
Time: 05:50 AM
Comments
15 Home Safety Tips for Caregivers of Dementia Sufferers
Dementia is a brain disorder that causes behavioral changes and changes in mental cognition for those living with the disease. Those living with dementia, a debilitating disease that includes the more readily recognized term Alzheimer’s disease, tend to lose the ability to remember names, arrange thoughts coherently and forget their current surroundings. As the disease progresses, communication becomes more difficult for the sufferer and agitation can occur.
Creating a home that is safe and comfortable for both the caregiver and individual is very important. Following are 15 simple tips that can help caregivers keep those afflicted with the disease safer in their home or living space.
15 Simple Safety Tips
1. Keep the home quiet and background noise to a minimum.
2. Install child proof locks and latches high on doors may help deter wandering into unsafe areas.
3. Keep keys out of sight.
4. Post signs on doors like the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom.
5. Place a stop sign on the door to the exterior or unsafe areas (basement stairs).
6. Place familiar items where they can be seen. This helps the individual feel safer and less agitated.
7. Organize and declutter surroundings. This reduces anxiety, one of the potential causes for wandering.
8. Nighttime and sun downing (when the person becomes increasingly agitated as evening advances) can be challenging for both the caregiver and the person with dementia. Modifying sleeping arrangements can help reduce the agitation. The bedroom should be cool as this is conducive to sleep and comfort.
9. Keep bedding and pajamas comfortable so they don’t restrict movement.
10. Fill the sleeping area with familiar objects. Examples include a favorite soft blanket or pillow or a picture of a family member.
11. Include a nightlight. It shouldn’t be too bright as this could interrupt sleep.
12. Ensure that there is sufficient night-time lighting so that if wandering does occur, it will not be hazardous.
13. Remove all cords so they don’t become a trip hazard.
14. Make it easy for the wanderer to easily find the bathroom and their way back to their room.
15. Ensure the person receives sunlight during the day. This helps restore the body’s natural time clock and may help reduce issues with sleeping.
There are other considerations when caring for someone suffering from dementia. With some safety precautions and comfort guidelines, those caring for suffers may reduce some of the common problems that happen in the course of the disease.
About Alesha E. Churba. A.E.Churba Design: Simple and Divine Interior Design. Alesha recently completed the CAPS Training and is the only Allied Member ASID (American Society of Interior Designers) with experience in Residential and Commercial Interior Design and Decorating in Southeast Idaho. Her business niche is primarily designing and decorating with her clients futures in mind (i.e. aging in place, color story investment, and designing for the long term safety and comfort of her clients). Alesha resides in Pocatello, Idaho. (208) 313-6414. Alesha@aechurba-design.com http://aechurba-design.com
About The CareGiver Partnership. The CareGiver Partnership is a national direct to consumer retailer and caregiver resource providing support, convenience and old-fashioned customer service to those caring for a loved one. The company’s website provides the largest online library of resources on subjects which are most important to caregivers and offers more than 2,600 homecare products. Product Specialists answer the phone (800-985-1353) within three rings and assist in helping customers choose just the right product. The CareGiver Partnership also offers its patent-pending convenient automatically scheduled delivery service, Never Run OutSM, which ships supplies automatically based on your needs. Many products that can help you care for a loved one with dementia are provided.
Sources:
Lewy Body Dementia Association (http://lbda.org/
National Association of Home Builders Certified Aging in Place Specialist materials.
Name: Susan
Location: California
Date: 05/25/2010
Time: 05:22 PM
Comments
My mother-in-law is 82 and is very intelligent, sharp and witty. She survived being on a ventilator for a week and seems to be on her way to recovery although she will be unable to live alone. My husband and I have made a decision to take care of her in her own home. I love Katherine with all of my heart and will do everything within my power to see that she lives out her life with happiness and dignity.
Any suggestions from experienced caregivers will be appreciated.
Thank you, Susan
Name: Pam
Location: Phoenix Arizona
Date: 05/24/2010
Time: 08:38 PM
Comments
Last Spring I had the opportunity to be part of a group that threw a "Senior Prom" at a memory care facility nearby. We held the event in the evening and all residents and families were invited. They were to dress in "Sunday best". We decorated the facility, served appetizers, snacks, punch and coffee, hired a DJ who interacted beautifully with the residents, and played music from a variety of decades and took requests as well. We had each resident come to a designated area and have their picture taken with their family members who were present. One man did not have any family in the area and had one of the staff members go to his room and get an 8x10 photo of his family which he held up and had his photo taken. We then posted all the photos on a special kodakgallery.com site and all family members were given the password to get in and view photos and order them from a store nearby their home, so even family members across the country were able to order. We gave each resident a photo. We did this all with donations from the community. One of the greatest things we pulled from this experience was the love of music that this population still has. Even when they are not able to speak or communicate they still enjoy music and can sing or hum along and dance or move to the music. So many family members came up to us and said things such as "I haven't seen my mother smile in months and she was smiling and enjoying herself tonite!" What I recommend and find works well is getting an ipod with all of your loved ones favorite tunes. You will be surprised how much joy it will bring them and how enjoyable your time with them will be. My friend did this with her elderly Grandmother in the final days of her life. Her grandmother had not spoken in weeks and rarely for months before that. My friend was able to find out what music she loved and also she told them what music she wanted played at her funeral. They spent her last week together singing along to tunes and her grandmother's last days were spent happy. What a difference music can make to so many...both caregivers and those receiving care. Hope this is helpful to someone! ♥
Name: PATRICIA HARRINGTON
Location: louisville ky/
Date: 05/19/2010
Time: 02:47 PM
Comments
..THINGS ROLLING OFF THE OVER THE BED TABLE. SO SIMPLE I USE MASKING TAPE AND TAPE OVER SMALL ITEMS...THEY CAN''T ROLL OFF.
ALSO MAKE A LIST OF DOCTORS AND PHONE NUMBERS AND TAPE TO THE TABLE..HANDY WHEN YOU NEED TO CALL A DOCTOR OR DRUGSTORE.
I USE CLEAR PACKAGING TAPE..SO IT DOESN'T GET MESSY,AND KEEPS IT CLEAN
Name: Abby Chapple Walker
Location: West Virginia
Date: 05/14/2010
Time: 01:55 PM
Comments
1. Medistraw.....you drop a pill into the straw and the patient simple sucks up the liquid and ofcourse the pill.
It is excellent at keeping people from aspirating as their chin is DOWN when the drink thru the straw.
I found it on the web.
2. Glass Straws - I have all kinds for my husband who has ALS and can't use his hand/arms. He especially finds the glass straws great for drinking coffee as hot liquids seem to melt most other straws.
Name: Dianne Doyle
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
Date: 11/05/2008
Time: 12:57 PM
Comments
One of the challenges of feeding my father, who is on
hospice and unable to feed himself, was to keep the food warm. The baby dishes
of decades ago that you could fill with hot water have long since been
discontinued. So I came up with the idea of putting a bean bag (ours is filled
with popcorn) and heating it for 2.5 minutes and putting it on a plate, and then
putting the dish with his dinner on it ON TOP OF the bean bag. Voila! It kept
the meal hot the whole time it took to feed him (often 40-60 minutes) and I
wasn't cooking it to death by reheating it a half dozen times during the course
of the meal. And when I need a bowl kept hot, like for soups, I put the bean bag
in a big soup bowl, and then wedge the smaller bowl down in the cavity, and it
keeps the sides warm too. I'm so grateful you have put this website here;
caregivers are a creative lot, and I just KNOW other people have come up with
innovative solutions to common caregiving problems. I can't wait to read them
all!!!
Name: Ines
Location: Kings Park, NY
Date: 11/06/2008
Time: 08:13 AM
Comments
While driving my mom, who has moderate dementia to her
day program, I "quiz" her on spelling and math problems (simple addition and
multiplication). She was an apt student in school and can still do these tasks.
It keeps her mind active and thinking and she tells me she likes the challenges.
Name:
Location:
Date: 11/13/2008
Time: 04:37 PM
Comments
I take my mother to respite care(daycare) during the day
and she doesn't want to leave me. I tell her that she is going to her job at the
senior Center to help them. since she always wants to help me around the house,
she is less likely to resist going. I tell her how much they need her help and
that she is doing a great job of helping me out too. She is still clingy, but it
has helped give her a focus other than on herself, which gives her a purpose.
They really do have her help with chores and she comes home tired, so she sleeps
better too.
Name: Ron Barth
Location: Newhall, CA.
Date: 11/14/2008
Time: 05:44 PM
Comments
My wife has dementia and is in the middle stages. She
has a difficult time eating because of the loss of many of her teeth. I have
found she really enjoys Gerber baby cereal mixed with Ensure.
Name: Sandy White
Location: Wellington, Florida
Date: 11/15/2008
Time: 04:33 PM
Comments
I'm so glad I joined several support groups and feel
sorry for those who stay away. Our support groups aren't "pity parties" but
sources of good information to what are our options in recovery, what does it
cost, how did it work, where are they located, who is the best. This is
especially important if you are on an HMO. HMOs are notoriously poor on treating
long term disability. They require their doctors to sign a gag order that the
doctor won't tell you about any option that your HMO doesn't cover. And because
an HMO is constantly making new contracts with providers, sometimes the best are
still on their approved list but not mentioned because the HMO negotiated a
lower price with a newer provider. If you find out about a more effective
therapy, call that provider's office direct and ask if they accept your HMO or
insurance. HMO Advantage ads tell you what they offer that Medicare doesn't, but
they don't tell you what they don't that Medicare will cover. And because they
are the gate keepers you can't get all your possible Medicare coverage. Don't
believe them when they tell you you have reached your "life time limit of
physical therapy under Medicare." Medicare only has yearly limits and the next
year you can get more therapy if you can still make progress with it. Support
groups can wise you up to nuances like that. And they can tell you about many
government sponsored services that are not advertised. In the scheme of things,
programs getting government funding can't use those funds for advertising
because it takes money away from direct services. If you see a god government
program, jump on it immediately because the value of that program is judged by
the number of people who found it and used it. Without advertising, many only
last one or two years, so may be gone if you delay, regardless of their quality.
Name: Sylvar
Location: Redondo Beach
Date: 11/17/2008
Time: 11:42 PM
Comments
I really love this site with all the tips and helpful
information. So here is just a quick store & tip for those with inflammation:
After some trial and error with a client's nutritional needs, I found that
Pineapple (juice but mainly fresh slices) helped with his ocular neuritis and
migraines because of the Bromelain in pineapples, it reduces inflammation.
Within minutes of eating the fruit I prepared for him, his pain in his eye was
gone and he said he was seeing better. Bromelain works to reduce all types of
inflammation, from a cut on a finger to chronic migraines. I just thought this
was a good tip since most people love pineapple and so many suffer from
debilitating conditions that Bromelain helps.
Name: Steve
Location: Brownsville,In
Date: 11/18/2008
Time: 03:41 PM
Comments
My dad has Alzheimer's. I have added lighted light
switches & nite lights to help him at night. Also put name tags in the bathroom
for his items.
Name: Jane
Location: Kansas City
Date: 11/19/2008
Time: 02:44 PM
Comments
When my husband broke a bone in his foot, he needed a
wheelchair for long distances because he was not supposed to put weight on the
broken bone. Like a super-caregiver, I rented a wheelchair and dutifully hauled
it in and out of the car each time he needed it. After 4 days of this, my back
hurt so much that I couldn't think straight! It dawned on me that most places we
go have wheelchairs at their doors and that didn't involve my lifting it in and
out of the trunk of our car! So I returned my rental wheelchair and started
using the available wheelchair at the mall or the doctor's office building, etc.
It has saved my back often!
Name: Jackie
Location: South Carolina
Date: 11/20/2008
Time: 03:34 PM
Comments
Most of the behavior problems my mother had were related
to prolonged use of certain medications and food allergies. While under the care
of a physician, she was taken off two of the medications that she had been on
for over 30 years. She got much better almost right away, but later started
declining again. Then I found NAET, which is a natural allergy elimination
treatment and she responded so well. Within a day of her first treatment, she
began to lose many of the behaviors that had plagued us both. Her hearing
improved and her balance as well. You can check out NAET.com for more
information. Allergies, especially severe allergies, can affect behavior in
anyone. Hope others find the help she did. I have used NAET as well. It didn't
happen overnight, but I recovered from chronic fatigue, and found myself less
easily irritated.
Name: Kathy
Location: Dallas
Date: 11/21/2008
Time: 02:23 PM
Comments
My mom is in the moderate to advanced stage of
Alzheimer's and her cleanliness habits have declined. I realized that she was
unable to search for personal grooming items. So I've arranged her bathroom so
that what she needs is easily visible. Her washcloths are rolled up and placed
in a basket on the counter. She has a full pitcher and a glass to encourage her
to drink. The extra rolls of toilet paper are right in a stand right next to the
toilet. Before I found a nice looking one, I stuck a plumbers helper to the
floor and dropped rolls of toilet paper over the handle. I have started buying
soap that is brightly colored (not white) so that is is easy to see against the
white sink and countertop. Same with all the towels - bright reds and purple are
much easier for her to find hanging against the pale wall. Even her toilet seat
is dark green so that it stands out when she enters the bathroom. I've outlined
the wall switch with colored tape and a label that says LIGHT. Believe it or
not, these little things help.
Name: Maryan Daily
Location: Dallas, Pa.
Date: 12/05/2008
Time: 09:57 AM
Comments
I am fortunate to run an Alzheimer's Support Group. It's
a great learning experience, plus making new friends. The greatest tip I can
give is to educate all caregivers to seek out a support group. It is important
in so many ways; you get a few hours of necessary respite, education and tips in
your field, and the friendship you need, phone numbers so that you have a
compassionate ear between meetings. If you find that your trip to the bathroom
is the only peace you get during the day, it is time to seek help - friends from
church, aids, relatives, and of course, the support groups. My husband had
Alzheimer's for years, so my knowledge is concentrated in that field. Two clever
tips: during the middle stages, run a string of Christmas lights along the
hallway that lead to the bathroom and then label the door with a picture of a
toilet. #2 Place a black rug in front of any door that would lead to steps or
outside. In the later stages the patient thinks this is a hole and will not walk
over the area. I've learned so much NOW, and regret that I did not have a group
to attend while caring for my dear husband. When you are at your wits end,
remember that deep down inside your loved one is still in there, touch him/her
and tell them you still love them. May God bless all you caregivers!
Name: Dianne Doyle
Location: Scottsdale, Arizona
Date: 01/02/2009
Time: 08:00 AM
Comments
My father has been on hospice care for just over 3
years. (He's trying to set a record with them, I think!) Part of his disease has
been a contraction of the inner thigh muscles, resulting in his legs always
being crossed at the ankles, and when he sleeps (unmoving, because he cannot
move himself) in that position for 10-12 hours, he wakes with TERRIBLE knee and
hip pain, much like as if they were out of socket. The pain meds he was on for
this were staggeringly high. One day my nearly 90 year old mother suggested I
put a boot on him, using a seat cushion held over his ankle with an Ace bandage
holding the sides up but not tight. So I put a thin seat cushion (you know the
type, just a piece of foam covered by a piece of cloth) over his ankle and
lightly wrapped an Ace bandage around the seat cushion just to hold it closed at
the top. The end result was that his legs didn't cross at the ankle at night,
and his knee and hip didn't get locked into that position during the night, and
the best thing of all was that he HAD NOT MORE PAIN!!! We found it had to be
down over his ankle, because otherwise he would maneuver his foot to hook onto
the other foot. But with the cushion over his ankle, it became too cumbersome
for him to lift, and so he left it lying on the bed UNCROSSED all night, and
woke to NO PAIN. I told Mom she gets the Nobel prize from me!!! And the proof is
that Dad has needed NO pain meds for 4 days (since we discovered this worked).
We take the "boot" off every morning and replace it with a small cushion between
his legs to keep them from crossing during the day, while allowing his otherwise
"booted" ankle to roam free. It has worked miracles for us.....hope it might
help someone facing a similar problem.
Name: Louise Gogel
Location: Manchester, VT
Date: 01/04/2009
Time: 09:58 AM
Comments
One day, when I was tired of explaining over and over
every day to my mom ways to position herself to be able to sit safely on the
toilet, I had an brilliant idea that is helping us both. As my mom was sitting
there on the loo I outlined the bathroom floor around her feet with red duct
tape. Against the white tiles it stands out beautifully and has helped be a
guide so that now I only have to say: get your feet into the red marks before
you sit.
Name: Bob
Location: Michigan
Date: 01/05/2009
Time: 02:26 AM
Comments
Mom at 92, almost stopped eating anything solid. I often
referred to it as Anorexia. She simply had no appetite. When she did eat, she
would have surprise bowel movements that on occasion wouldn't make it to the
bathroom. The doctor's answer was to do an endoscopy, Mom didn't want anything
to do with it. So as "The Good son" I tackled one problem at a time. First the
not eating. She complained that certain foods upset her stomach, well I found it
was ALL FOODS. Found that an acid reducer, once a day, brought her appetite
back. Seems the elderly keep producing acid they don't need. Mom's doctor put
her on Nexium instead of acid reducers and seems to be working well. Now the
surprise trips to the bathroom. One of the hired care givers pointed out that
the elderly often have food blockage in the lower track. The blockage sits there
and keeps future meals from passing easily. Answer: one stool softener per day
available over the counter. Mom has been eating well and even gaining some
weight. Hope this helps...Mom is now 95 and back up to her usual weight. Be sure
to consult with the doctor, I did and she was agreeable to doing what I found
Works!
Name: Beverly Monigal
Location: Madison
Date: 01/06/2009
Time: 11:49 AM
Comments
Post on the refrigerator or visible place, a sheet of
paper listing of the person's name, main contact, Dr.'s name, major medications,
and other items (use of cane, glasses) so that if (or when) emergency personnel
come to the home, that sheet can be used by the personnel rather than have to
ask the person having the emergency.
Name: Joyce, Joliet IL
Location:
Date: 01/08/2009
Time: 08:00 AM
Comments
I seem to have no tips or ideas as my husband is still
stubbornly and independently resistant to my ideas how to make things better for
him and me too. But I did want to say, however, that your idea, Beverly, from
Madison, about posting all that important info on the fridge is a GREAT one.
Name: Jira Perez
Location: Phillippines
Date: 01/11/2009
Time: 11:00 AM
Comments
I walked into Mom’s house and saw an elderly woman and I
saw in her eyes she needed my help because she could not breathe clearly.
I just gave her a little massage at her back for a while. It kept her mind
active and breathing good.
Name: Bill
Location: West Midlands
Date: 01/13/2009
Time: 03:53 PM
Comments
My wife always complained that I gave her too much food
on her plate even though it was a very small portion, and it was suggested to me
that I keep the food away from the outer sloping edges of the plate and flatten
the food more instead of putting it in small piles. IT WORKED, no more moaning.
Name: Lynn Ewald
Location: Gasport, NY
Date: 01/17/2009
Time: 09:00 AM
Comments
When my daughter was diagnosed with ALL- Leukemia on
1/2/08 at the age of 7 I thought my world and life was over. I have had a whole
year of chemo visits, spinal taps, blood transfusions and so much more. I am
thankful that she has a curable disease and I only take it "one" day at a time.
I try to pull the positive from the negative and it gives me strength, hope &
wisdom. I am glad I am able to take care of my Shelby. She is in 2nd grade. She
has a caringbridge website@ www.caringbridge.org/visit/shelbyewald if anyone
wants to post a message to her.
Name: Linda
Location: Monrovia, CA
Date: 01/28/2009
Time: 10:47 PM
Comments
As my husband's MS progresses, he's finding it more
difficult to eat without dropping food on himself. We love to eat out, and I
wanted to find something that would a) work and b) look decent in public. After
seeing the prices for those adult bibs - and knowing I'd never find time to buy
fabric and sew one - I bought a black chef's apron at a discount department
store. I cut the bottom off just enough for it to cover his lap without going
over his knees. It has a D-ring neck strap, so I can quickly and easily adjust
it to sit up high near his chin. It certainly draws less attention than those
adult bibs would have!
Name: Linda
Location: Monrovia CA
Date: 01/28/2009
Time: 10:52 PM
Comments
I pushed my husband in a manual wheelchair for years
before we got a power chair. It killed my wrists and basal thumb joints! Then I
discovered Bar Tenders. They clamp to the handles of the wheelchair and create
horizontal pushing bars, more like a baby carriage. SO much more ergonomic! I
wish I'd found them sooner. Do a search for bar tenders +wheelchair to find
them.
Name: Kate
Location: Ballston Spa NY
Date: 01/29/2009
Time: 10:06 AM
Comments
My sister had ALS and had pretty much lost her ability
to speak. Although she also had difficulty moving her hands, she could still
press down with her finger. It was really frustrating when I was in another part
of the house to hear her when she wanted something. We solved the problem by
getting a battery operated doorbell. I put the ringer in her lap with her hand
over it where she could reach it and kept the chime box with me. Even if I was
in the basement family room I could easily hear when she needed me. It made her
more comfortable to know I was never out of touch. I could even take a nap
without worrying I wouldn't hear her call. I used it at night too.
Name: Jane Jordan
Location: Savannah, Georgia
Date: 02/05/2009
Time: 09:20 AM
Comments
My Dad has Parkinson's. We've been taking care of him
for 5 years. He lives next door to us and wants to continue to live alone. My
Mom died 16 years ago. But we were worried he couldn't get us on the phone if he
needed us as his dexterity is not what it used to be. He has to be "put to bed"
so after we do that, we set up his "light and phone". I velcroed his small
flashlight to the bar on his hospital bed so it's always in his reach. And, in
case he drops it, it also has a string on it that will not let it fall to the
floor and most times he can recover it. For the phone, I taped a large cotton
ball over the "Redial" button on the phone. Anytime I'm over at his house and
start to leave, I dial my phone number into his phone, let it ring once, and
hang up. That way if he needs me, he has only to pick up the receiver and press
the cotton ball. As he can't move/position himself much at night, pressure
points were a worry. He sleeps with 10 small pillow. I bought 5 sets of pillow
cases. That way each night I know to rotate the pillow - by color and matches.
He has two around his shoulder area, one on each elbow, one around each hip, one
under or near each knee, and one under each ankle with his heel suspended. The
next night the top pillow (shoulder) is moved to elbow, and the bottom (ankle)
is moved to top (shoulder). You would not believe the difference this has made
and he feels SO pampered. We simply buy Dollar Store pillows and toss them when
needed - same with the pillow cases.
Name: Ve O'Brien
Location: Del Mar, California
Date: 06/02/2009
Time: 08:13 AM
Comments
My clients experience dementia and wake up anxious and
confused as to what day it is and what appts. they may have. I have created a
simple powerpoint page (you can handwrite, color, type, whatever suits your
situation) which reads something like this: "Good Morning Mary today is Tuesday
June 2, 2009. Your appointments for today are: " and then I list the doctor
visits, hospice nurse visit, son-in-law coming to visit, etc. My clients love
this as it is personalized and set by their bedside so that when they awake they
see that 8-1/2 x 11" paper, pick it up and read it and know that everything is
ok and I'm there for them.
Name: Pat
Location: Erie PA
Date: 06/02/2009
Time: 11:52 AM
Comments
My spouse had a stroke and was discharged from hospital
to nursing home. At the time I filled out state resources form even though he
was not staying in the home. Well here we are 3 years later and caregiver costs
have eaten away at our savings and Wallstreet has decreased it further and I'm
worried about what I will live on. I found out that by having filled out that
form when our assets were much higher that if he went to a nursing home now I
would be protected. Obviously the amount of income varies due to a calculation
etc and a lawyer can answer the questions per your state and situation. It is
just that at the time of stress we caregivers don't always know what to do. I
remember receiving the packet and thinking I don't need to worry about this now
but decided to do it. I am so happy now that I did. I am 15 years younger than
my spouse and I would be in big trouble if I had to pay for a nursing home now.
I have no income until I reach SS age and qualify for my pension. When the
market was making $ it didn't seem like an issue. Now, however, it is a big
issue. BE PREPARED...DO ALL YOU CAN...ASK FOR HELP...A LAWYER WHO SPECIALIZES IS
WORTH THE HOUR FEE IN THE LONG RUN. I STRESSED ABOUT THIS SO MUCH AND I SHOULD
HAVE HAD PROFESSIONAL FINANCIAL HELP TOO. DON'T BE AFRAID TO ADMIT YOU CAN'T DO
IT ALL. THESE PROFESSIONALS (CHECK THEM OUT) CAN SAVE LOTS OF $ AND FRUSTRATIONS
LATER. GOD BLESS ALL OF US CAREGIVERS...THE PATH IS LONELY...BUT WE ARE NOT
ALONE!
Name: anne
Location: bradenton, fl
Date: 06/22/2009
Time: 08:28 AM
Comments
Comfort. When the patient is still coherent, don't
assume they are cold or uncomfortable. Don't assume they want blankets up to
their neck or socks on. I told my sister "please ask daddy if he wants socks on"
or "please ask daddy if he is cold before you put a blanket on". Don't wake him
up to ask him. PLEASE BE CONSIDERATE OF THEM. peace.
Name: Elaine Callender
Location: New York
Date: 06/24/2009
Time: 08:39 AM
Comments
When older people are in the hospital they tend to look
older than they are - When my MOM was in the hospital I engaged the nursing
staff and told them just how active my MOM was at 81 -- and I also brought in a
recent picture and posted it in MOM's room so no one would get the idea that
this wonderful lady's time was up....
Name: Rose Lamatt
Location: Florida
Date: 06/26/2009
Time: 11:56 AM
Comments
I read something the other day saying all caregivers
were ‘hero’s’. I don't know about 'hero' but I have written my story, 'Just a
Word' friends encounter Alzheimer's. A story of friendship, and going that extra
mile for the life of a friend. I was caregiver for fourteen years: four at home,
and ten in a nursing home. Anyone who thinks when one gets put in a nursing home
the duties of the caregiver are over, is very mistaken. That's when caregiving
becomes different. That's when you need to watch over the people who are caring
for your loved one. So now you are not only making sure your loved one is
cleaned, dressed and fed, but now you are making sure she/he is not being abused
in anyway, by mouth, or by hand. My way of coping was through prayer. Praying my
friend would be sleeping at night instead of pacing the halls of a nursing home
the way she did at home. Praying my friend was fed, and why was she losing so
much weight? Praying mostly that she was not hurt, like the time she fell and
broke her hip and they x-rayed the wrong hip. Sometime we need to go through the
unbelievable to see the truth on the other side, to become stronger and
fearless. My story, 'Just a Word' is mostly of nursing home caregiving, things
to watch out for, things to keep your ears open to. 'Hero'? I guess in a sense
all caregivers are. Watching over a parent, sister, brother, friend, there
really is no difference.
Name: Elizabeth Koffron-Eisen
Location: Coralville, Iowa
Date: 07/29/2009
Time: 06:56 PM
Comments
"ASKING FOR HELP"
Used to be that I would:
1) go without;
2) stay at home; or
3) do it myself (more often than not, to the detriment
of either myself or the task)...
RATHER THAN:
1) look incapable;
2) feel dependent; or
3) be a bother or burden on someone by asking for their help.
Several years ago, a way of "re-framing" the above suddenly "came" to me:
* I know how good it feels when I CHOOSE to help someone else.
* If I need something and can identify someone who might be willing (and able) to meet that need, I might phrase my request this way: "I'd really appreciate help with (xyz). Do you know of anyone who would be willing to help?"
* As I haven't actually asked THEM by name, should they be Unable (or unwilling) to help, they can feel free to decline and/or suggest someone else who might. Regardless of their answer, I always thank them.
* If that person IS able to help, then, not only do I get what I need done (Gift #1), but I also give the person helping me an opportunity to feel good about themselves. (Gift #2).
"Asking for help" transforms into: "Double-Gifting".
Have you "Double-gifted" today?
Liz
Spousal caregiver x 21 years
. . . and counting . . .
Name: Carolyn Walker
Location: Memphis. Tenn.
Date: 08/17/2009
Time: 10:05 PM
Comments
I am a caregiver to my husband .He has memory loss due to a stroke in 2007. Whenever I feed him, he has a habit of saying, "man I haven't ate all day". After each meal I would always clean up his area, but now to help him to know that he has eaten I would leave evidence such as a bowl or a plate with the residue of what he ate, sitting near by, just to remind him that he did eat.
Name: Margo
Location: TN.
Date: 09/02/2009
Time: 02:50 PM
Comments
Hello, Everyone!
How are you today? I worked at a grocery store for 27 years. I retired early because my mom was diagnosed with Dementia. I wanted to take care of her. Taking care of a parent with dementia can be quite challenging, but also rewarding. The whole family helps with the care of our mother. My mothers feel more comfortable with family members with her and she is less agitated. We play games to help with her memory. Her favorite game is Price Is Right. She also likes Family Feud!
In the state of Tennessee they have limited financial support for adults that
take care of their parents. You are put on a long waiting list and they only
help 10 families at a time. The only time they get to you if someone else drops
out of the program. I am on the waiting list and have no idea when they will get
to me. Since I started taking care of my mother, I have noticed other caregivers
that are having trouble getting financial support. I do receive help from family
members, but I know they have their own expenses. My goal is to start a Network
of Family Caregivers that can make an income from home while giving their
parents the best of care. This relieves the guilt you may feel sometimes when
accepting financial support from family members. I have found 2 great home based
business that are very easy to do and you can start for free! If you are
interested you can email me.
Margo
email: michael.owens44@yahoo.com
Name: Marilyn
Location: Florida
Date: 09/12/2009
Time: 06:54 PM
Comments
At a local caregivers meeting sponsored by APDA I was blessed by meeting a caregiver who gave me some advice on a problem I had. My husband has PSP and falls quite often. One of my greatest worry was his getting up at night to urinate. To say the least I was not sleeping very well and this affected me the next day when I had all my caretaking obligations to tend to. She told me about the "Texas Catheter." It is a very simple device that is used at night and he does not have to get out of bed or wake me until the morning when I wake up and can be with him. Please speak to your urologist or physician if you are have this problem.
Name: glory read
Location: Clifton, NJ
Date: 09/17/2009
Time: 08:51 AM
Comments
Don 't treat people with Alzheimer's like children.
They have lived adult lives and the person is still inside. They are dysfunctional in their ability to assimilate and express their emotions. A caregiver needs to be their "rock". Awaken their "emotional memory" so they can enjoy the moment and feel secure which results in calmer behavior. This is explained in my memoir "Everything Will Be alright", which chronicles the 11 years my husband and I shared his disease, and grew closer than ever. Profits from my book are donated to Alzheimer's research.
Name: Donna
Location: Olympia, WA
Date: 09/28/2009
Time: 08:57 AM
Comments
Hello everyone! I find that I'm 52 years young and have worked in Retirement/Rehabs and done private home care in the past. I love the people and found that of all the things that I've done in my life....well, I'm a natural born Caregiver with a lot of "paperwork" to back up my credentials. Now, to get to the point. I just spent several days traveling with a friend in their RV. It was wonderful, but I started looking around at some of the RV parks and realized that I would love to combine my services as a caregiver to RVers that might think that they and their family members days of traveling are over due to age/illness. There isn't any good reason for this to be the case! I would love to become a caregiver/companion that travels around the country sharing the RV lifestyle. I have no family ties to bind me to one place any longer. Time isn't an issue to me, but providing quality of life while making new memories with others is. Does anyone know how I might go about becoming a Traveling RV Caregiver? There must be someone with some ideas! Please share.
Thanks
Name: Rosemary
Location: Mesick, MI
Date: 09/30/2009
Time: 10:35 AM
Comments
When an elderly person wants and/or likes to read the daily newspaper, where it is folded up the middle, tear or cut apart. This makes it so much easier to read the paper without holding your arms up in the air for so long.
Another tip would be to make a snack plate and leave it in the refrigerator ready to take what they want. It keeps them feeling independent. Such as a divided plate with fruits, vegies, cheese slices, turkey and chicken slices, a vegie/fruit dip, or chunkie cuts. Make sure that the cover is very easy to remove and replace. I usually always leave crackers on the counter ready to use in a little bag, with the top just folded over.
Name: Bob Brown
Location: New Jersey
Date: 10/01/2009
Time: 07:16 AM
Comments
This is my story / mission:
I was a caregiver for my father for 2 1/2 years before his passing. Needless to say I had little to no time for myself especially on weekends. He had an aid for the weekdays when I was working but the weekend was all me. After his passing I married and was now a caregiver along with my wife for my Mother-In-Law who had Alzheimers and again it was difficult at best to find someone to watch her on the weekends. With that being said I would like your opinions on my idea. I would like to open a center designed specifically for weekend days and/or nights (weekdays too)to allow caregivers some much needed time for themselves. Your thoughts on this proposed venture are greatly appreciated. I will check back on this site or you can email me. My email is bobro1958@aol.com
Thank you,
Bob
Name: Lori DiTucci
Location: Texas
Date: 10/27/2009
Time: 05:26 AM
Comments
Parkinsons disease is painful sight for a caregiver, my secret to relief is to look at pictures of years before. My mom has parkinsons and has trouble walking, talking, and doing basic ADL's. We laugh sometimes together on her speech troubles and just don't take it to heart.
Name: Bette Scott
Location: Lewisburg, PA
Date: 10/27/2009
Time: 06:21 PM
Comments
I have developed a Pill Organization System for my mother. She takes over 20 pills a day and I prepare her weekly pill strips. I was very concerned that the pill strips were put together properly--at times I might have interruptions while filling the pill strips. I took pictures of each pill and transferred them to a morning mat and an evening mat. I can match the pills from the strips to the pictures, to be sure that I am administering the correct pills at the correct time. This helps me not to worry, and if someone is staying with her at pill time, they can be confident in giving her her pills as well.
Name: Blanca Ceballos
Location: Miami, Florida
Date: 11/18/2009
Time: 06:31 AM
Comments
Seek help when you need it. Taking care of a person with Alzheimer's disease or dementia can be very stressful. In Miami, Florida a free caregivers support program is available thru Community REACH II. This 6-month program offers respite service for your loved one while you participate in supportive, educational and counseling sessions. Participants also receive a free MedicAlert+safe return bracelet. For more information call 305-716-0710.
Name:
Location:
Date: 11/18/2009
Time: 03:59 PM
Comments
Start a caregiver support group for siblings of disabkled siblings for whom they are guardians. There is none in Middlesex county and its much needed for those of us in sandwich generations
An interested observer-caregiver of 2 family members - 1 elderly w/dimentia 1-w/deaf slow learner
Name: Barbara Comiskey
Location: Euclid, Ohio
Date: 11/19/2009
Time: 06:21 AM
Comments
I have found a way to make filling my mother's weekly pill containers a little bit easier. I number all her medication bottles with a big red permanent marker on the lid and the bottle. These are numbered to correspond with her 'master list' of medications. Now it only takes a minute to line up the bottles in their appropriate order. (Of course I double check to make sure the pills correspond to the chart.)
Name: Steve Wilson
Location: Pensacola, FL
Date: 12/01/2009
Time: 06:20 PM
Comments
My wife has MS. Her mobility is limited and she often bumps her shins on the bed railing, bruising the front of her lower legs. Found some foam, taped it to the front of the bed railings. Now when she bumps them, the pain is not much, no more bruising and the bed skirt hides it well.
Name: CARMEN WILSON, CFE, CFSA, MBA
Location: DUNEDIN, FLORIDA
Date: 12/05/2009
Time: 08:57 AM
Comments
From time to time, take the CARE RECEIVERS on an outing or to an education awareness event where they can be uplifted and feel worthy/knowledgeable, self sufficient - especially if they are lonely - outings, awareness or health & wellness events usually brighten their day. Also, reassurance calls tend to get the care receiver in a givening/volunteer mode to where they will assist you with doing minimal duties at the workplace.
FAITH IN ACTION OF UPPER PINELLAS - A PROFESSIONAL CAREGIVER
Name: Ruth L Kaplan
Location: Coconut Creek FL (Stroke Support Group at NW Medical Center, Margate, FL) Late Corky Hochler's group.
Date: 12/06/2009
Time: 01:47 PM
Comments
After 14 years of caregiving (husband Bob has had strokes & for a long time now is suffering from Parkinsons & a degree of dementia and when I get really frustrated, which I do more and more as I age, Gary, I have another mantra your caregivers might use: HE CAN'T HELP IT.
Name: Martha Kaplan Backer
Location: West Kendall, Florida
Date: 12/21/2009
Time: 09:35 AM
Comments
Wow, just read all the Tips, and my original one was given, talk to the person, like a person, not a baby. I like the idea of quizing or playing Trivia, Outlining the area where the feet go, by the toilet, marking doors with black carpets where there's a step down, the Info sheet visible for EMT's, the Daily Good Morning sheet for the person, and the Book, Everything will be alright by Glory Read, with proceeds going to Alzheimer's Association.
Thank you for the tips, my Mother in law is at the Palace Asst. Living, and I love visiting the place, ran a couple of programs through Activity Director, Maggie Miranda's dept. she's wonderful, does a good exercise program in the morning, that may be a good at home program. I did Trivia, cooking programs, with the residents help, and a horticulture program with the seeds from the cooking.
Name: B. Apple
Location: Vancouver
Date: 12/23/2009
Time: 06:39 PM
Comments
There is no reason for guilt or stress. You do what you can. Shortcomings are not your fault. And nobody is perfect. You have to be adequately in form in order to help others. Get help from anyone you can and don't worry.
Name: Jim Daley
Location: West Palm Beach, FL
Date: 01/08/2010
Time: 06:23 AM
Comments
I've been a Certified Nurses Assistant for going on 37 years and one of the best tips I've come across is using that foam pipe insulation (that you find at the hardware store) around the handles of forks and spoons. It already has a hole in the center, so you just insert the fork or spoon.
Alot of my clients through the years would rather sit back and not complain that holding a fork was painful.This shortcut gives them their independence back.
Name: Dolores
Location: Michigan
Date: 01/25/2010
Time: 10:24 AM
Comments
I am the caregiver for my husband. Two years ago something happened to him and the doctors can't find out what has happened. My husbands hands and feet feel like sandpaper. He has had many test and he can't have a MRI because he has a pace maker.
We have a large Denali (SUV) and our children wanted us to buy a new car and I said no. Our son made us a stand so his dad could get in and out of our SUV. We have lots of snow here in Michigan so our son took a grate from a junk pile and welded legs on it and that works wonderful as the snow goes right through the grate. I also take a large garbage bag with me if it is snowing when I take my husband to his appointments and put i over the running board. I close the car door on the garbage bag and let it hang. Another Idea I have if there is ice on the running board I bring the car into the garage and use a hair dryer on the running board where my husband gets into the car. My SUV is so large I have a hard time getting it into the garage.Our son also hung a tennis ball from the ceiling in the garage to help me put the car in so I know when to stop when the ball touches the glass. I hope these ideas help others
Name: LORI C. EMAIL L CHESSER@EXCITE.COM
Location: OCEANSIDE CALIFORNIA
Date: 01/26/2010
Time: 04:43 PM
Comments
I WOULD LIKE TO EMAIL OTHER PEOPLE WHO ARE CAREGIVERS.. MY 87 YEAR OLD MOM LIVES WITH MY HUSBAND AND MYSELF..IT IS VERY HARD SHE HAS LIVED WITH US FOR ONE YEAR. I TRY TO GO OUT WITH FRIENDS EVERYDAY..SHE MOVED FROM NY ..I AM HER WHOLE LIFE.. SHE DEPENDS ON ME FOR EVERYTHING.. SOMETIMES IT IS SOO HARD. I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR SOME WISDOM FROM OTHER CAREGIVERS THANK YOU
Location:
Date: 01/30/2010
Time: 07:55 PM
Comments
I have a wife with a rare disease called Behcet's. She is quite ill most of the time. I am looking for suggestions to avoid caregiver burnout and I have been selected as a husband and caregiver of a Behcet's patient to speak on the subject during The Behcet's Conference this April in Orlando Florida. So I am asking for help with information and sources for information to assist in my endevor.
Name:
Location:
Date: 02/03/2010
Time: 03:37 PM
Comments
One hint I use when I care for my Mom is to take an empty 2 liter soda and refill it with warm water from the faucet. I screw the top on tightly and pad it with a blanket or towel. My Mom's hands then will finally get warm. She holds it like a mug of hot chocolate or will place it and her hands in her lap. I don't see why this wouldn't work to pre-warm the foot space at the bottom of the bed. It holds its warmth for 2-3 hours.
Name: Candis Wilhoit
Location: Vail, CO
Date: 02/12/2010
Time: 02:34 PM
Comments
Does anyone know of any publications dealing with Communication Strategies for Caregivers? When my 53yr old husband hit his head and suffered a stroke Aug. 7, I/we lived in a hotel in Denver until Oct.31st of last year. I am interested in conflict resolution, negotiation and boundary setting strategies. It has turned our marriage upside down. I packed to leave, as I just couldn't take the behavioral issues of hostility trying to take care of him. But in my haste, Islipped on ice and broke my ankle on Dec. 16th!
Name: Rubetta Miller
Location: Healdton,OK
Date: 02/17/2010
Time: 06:22 AM
Comments
Educate yourself & other caregivers on any
prescription drugs given to a loved one. The internet is wonderful to help you. Look up side effects of medications that are being
prescribed to patients. And always remember to take care of #1/SELF to your best ability. Without your love & help, patients will only suffer more. You can handle anything with lots of rest & prayer to GOD whom hears & knows all things.
Name: Chuck Brown
Location: Georgetown, TX
Date: 02/26/2010
Time: 05:36 AM
Comments
Before alhziemer's, my wife loved crossword puzzles. To occupy her time, jigsaw puzzles work well even though she may not be able to do them without help. She loves for the grandchildren to come by and just help little while. Another interaction with loved ones. But, it gave me an opportunity to spend time with her on them. Upon completion, we seal them and hang them on the wall. They bring back good laughs we had solving them. Another thing is that when she may tend to be negative about someone or something I tell all the positive things and she becomes more positive herself. My upbeat "good morning" has her doing the same thing each morning. That keeps me in a positive mode too. God has blessed us so much as my fulltime job is caring and loving her as she did our children when I was traveling so much as they grew up. I am richly blessed.
Name: Dottie Surprenant
Location: Chicopee, Ma.
Date: 02/27/2010
Time: 11:50 AM
Comments
After caring for my companion for 9 years following his severe stroke I am feeling burned out!! He wasn't expected to live and is now paralyzed on his right side and in a wheelchair.
He has aphasia and it is hard for him to communicate. Although not married we had been dating for 10 years at the time of his stroke.
We sold his house and he came to stay with me in my condo. Otherwise he would have gone to a nursing home. I am unable to find anyone to stay with him for a few days so I could have some respite. Does anyone know of any organizations in Ma. through which I could find a caregiver? He is 74 now. I would be so thankful for any suggestions.
Name: DEBBIE H
Location: PITTSBURGH PA
Date: 02/28/2010
Time: 02:53 PM
Comments
MY MOM HAD ALZHEIMERS AND IN THE EARLY AND MIDDLE STAGES SHE COULD NOT REMEMBER WHERE ITEMS WERE AT. SO I GO A CLEAR SHOE HOLDER, THE KIND YOU CAN HANG. IN THERE I WOULD PUT HER BRAS, PANTIES, SOCKS AND TOOTHPASTE AND TOOTHBRUSH, COMB BRUSH AND ANYTHING ELSE THAT WAS A COMMONLY NEEDED ITEM. IF SHE COOULD NOT FIND SOMETHING I SAID GO CHECK YOU BAG. I ALWAYS HAD IT HANGING IN THE BATHROOM OUT IN THE OPEN SO SHE COULD SEE. IF SHE DID NOT PUT AN ITEM BACK I WOULD DO IT FOR HER SO IT WAS IN ITS PLACE. THERE IS GENERALLY 12 POCKETS SO YOU CAN USE ONE POCKET FOR EACH DIFFERENT ITEM. WHEN SHE STARTED HOSPICE I USED IT OVER THE DOOR TO HER BEDROOM AND HOSPICE PEOPLE COULD FIND HER ITEMS THEY NEEDED TO CARE FOR HER.
WHEN SHE HAD A PROBLEM WITH THE WEIGHT OF THE BED CLOTHES CAUSING REDNESS ON THE FEET. USE A SMALL FOOT STOOL. PLACE IT UNDER THE SHEETS WITH A LITTLE FOAM RUBBER ON THE SIDES. I USED A LITTLE PLASTIC STOOL IT WAS SMALL ENOUGH TO KEEP UNDER THE SHEETS AND IT ALSO KEPT THE WEIGHT OFF HER FEET.
SHE HAD A PROBLEM WITH HER EAR. I BOUGHT A PIECE OF FOAM RUBBER AND CUT OU AN INDENT. WHEN SHE LAID OR LEANED TOWARD THAT SIDE, HER EAR WOULD GO INTO THE INDENT BUT NOT TOUCH THE FOAM. I USED A KITCHEN KNIFE TO CUT IT OUT. WE ALSO USED THIS WHEN SHE HAD A BREAKDOWN ON HER SHOULDER.
I MADE SURE EVERYTHING WAS OUT IN VIEW THAT HOSPICE WOULD NEED IF I WAS NOT AROUND. USING LITTLE CONTAINERS FOR THINGS LIKE BANDAIDES, COTTON BALLS AND ANYTHING ELSE NEEDED. JUST ENOUGH FOR THERE USE.
Name: DEBBIE H
Location: PITTSBURGH PA
Date: 02/28/2010
Time: 02:57 PM
Comments
CARGIVERS: GET A TAPE RECORDED AND RECORD YOU LOVE ONE WHILE THEY STILL SPEAK. WHEN MY MOM QUIT TALKING I PLAYED BACK THE TAPE FOR HER AND I HAVE A MEMORY OF MY MOTHER
Name: Jill
Location: Watseka, Illinois
Date: 03/03/2010
Time: 06:40 AM
Comments
To Dottie Surprenant:
I am a caregiver advisor in IL. We work under the Area Agency on Aging who answers to the IL Dept. on Aging. I looked up MA thinking there should be something along those lines and I came up with this web address. I hope it helps as I just went off of the town you had listed there.
http://www.wmeldercare.org/
Name: Angela McKnight
Location: Jersey City, NJ
Date: 03/09/2010
Time: 08:49 PM
Comments
Since my granny is not able to get out in and out of the bed by herself, I have her do leg lifts while laying down. She just loves it!
Name: Sheri
Location: Ft. Lauderdale Fl
Date: 03/22/2010
Time: 12:53 PM
Comments
Finding help through the V.A. and local Elder Care services has been invaluable. I have been the sole caretaker for my invalid mother for over 10
years along with a 3 hour commute to and from work each day. The endless
trips to the drug store, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and other chores
left me angry and exhausted. The aides that come to help are wonderful and she
really enjoys their company.
Name: Kathleen Roberts
Location: Smith River, CA
Date: 03/26/2010
Time: 12:32 PM
Comments
My sister and I were desperate. We knew our dad's driving skills had greatly diminished. He was the type of person who didn't want to be a burden of any kind and wanted to take care of himself. Since he would give a person the shirt off his back, we asked him if my sister could borrow his car because her car was in need of repair. He did, and we never gave it back to him. It seemed the kindest way to do it and it worked for us.
Name: Nicki Stajcar
Location: Iowa Department on Aging
Date: 03/26/2010
Time: 04:48 AM
Comments
The Hartford has published an award winning publication to assist family members to have the conversation about driving retirement. The resource can be found at:
http://www.thehartford.com/talkwitholderdrivers/
The Iowa Department of Transportation has published materials including a tool for planning for driving retirement. The worksheets help to identify alternate choices for transportation. The specific resources cited are Iowa specific, but the worksheets can be used for any geographic location. Here's the link: http://www.iowadot.gov/mvd/ods/drivingretirement.pdf
Good luck with this difficult subject. I hope these resources are helpful to all of you who are struggling with this issue.
Name: Lynn
Location: Danville, CA
Date: 05/05/2010
Time: 01:34 PM
Comments
If you take care of yourself, you will have more to give to your loved one. Journaling is a great way to relieve caregiver stress.
Lynn
www.writeradvice.com
Author of You Want Me to Do WHAT? Journaling for Caregivers
Name: April Ruiz
Location: Carson, Ca.
Date: 04/24/2010
Time: 11:06 AM
Comments
Hello Everyone!
I was a caretaker for my dad who has passed two years ago. He was in and out of the hopsital/Nursing facilities with and infection in his foot that spread to his blood. This caused he to get weak and lose memory and not being able to function. I would cater to his needs. There were times I wish that I could have done more. I had to work as well. Helping my mom with the meals,and special request from my dad. I was a advocate for my dad with the doctors and decision making. Everyone!!! Do the research with the conditions that your love ones may have. Doctors don't necessarily know everything. All That my dad wanted was to be well and go home. I wish that I could have granted his request to come home. He died on 09/11/08
Now going through another challenge in my is with my Husband. He has Sarcoma, diagnosed 03/07/2007 and has been dealing with this for three years. He has gone through several rounds of treatment, radiation, and surgery. I say to all the caregivers in the world. Thank you for being there for your loved ones. I was frustrated and mad at having to do so much for everyone. Not realizing and taking the time to really think straight, that one day my love one would not be here with me. Being a caretaker can be stressful!! Yet, take the time to take of yourself so that you can enjoy and savor the moments you have with your loved one.
I applaud everyone!!
Name: Cassandra Taylor
Location: Memphis, TN
Date: 04/23/2010
Time: 09:42 AM
Comments
My 84 year old father hates it whenever I remind him to brush his teeth or wash his face in the mornings. So every morning I go into his bathroom before he awakens, puts the toothpaste on the brush, lay his wash cloth with the bar of soap on the sink. When he goes to wash his hands he sees it and uses it. He doesn't get upset and neither do I.
Name: Sharon Roth-Lichtenfeld
Location: Washington Township, Sewell, NJ
Date: 04/20/2010
Time: 02:43 PM
Comments
One of the hardest things for my girlfriend who had metastatic bone cancer was not being able to drive herself around. She felt helpless, and not in control. It was a huge source of upset, for this very independent lady
So, whenever I would take her either to the store or to the doctor or chemo, I would ask her what way she wanted to go, and she got tell me the exact route to take. It became a total source of amusement to both of us.
Name: lillie wilson
Location: clinton twp michigan48038
Date: 04/06/2010
Time: 11:46 AM
Comments
Giving good care to the patient I always on time and I have 25 years or more in this fileld and I am a certified nurse asst.
Name: Coni
Location: White Bear Lake, MN
Date: 04/01/2010
Time: 10:44 AM
Comments
If you are in need of costly medical equiptment that is used short term in most cases, contact your local American Legions and VFW's,they keep a supply of donated items available for the public for free.
